The 5 Steps
The Five Steps are a technique developed by Lisa Kuzara-Seibold, Minister of Early Childhood Education at Word of Grace Church in Mesa, Arizona. I had the amazing opportunity to mentor under her while employed by the Department of Early Childhood Education as a Sunday School Teacher. This example of The Five Steps is an adaptation of what is taught in her training manual. Step 1: State your request and offer a reason. Example: "You need to stop yourself from playing and clean up. It is time to leave." Step 2: Restate your request. Example: "You need to stop yourself from playing and clean up." It ...
Words as Magic
One of the questions I am asked most often about parenting young children is what to do when they lie. Occasionally the question comes from a parent of a 9 or 10 year old but most often the children are 6 or younger. I realize that lying is a very real thing and it’s a sin. I have to be careful when discussing this issue because every so often someone will hear what I say on this and think that I’m minimizing what God makes very clear in Scripture. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Godly parents are concerned about ...
An Answer to Proverbs 23 and ‘beatest’
Question: I totally understand the idea of the rod on verses like "he who spares the rod, hates his son" but what about prov 23:13-14 where it actually says "for if thou beat him with the rod..." ? Answer: I’ve addressed this verse in the context of other articles but as it is one I’m asked most often, I thought I’d answer it separately. I’ve also learned a lot more about the Hebraic mind and life since I wrote the earlier articles so I’m sure there will be ideas that didn’t find their way into previous articles. I actually ...
Grace-Based Discipline
Grace-Based Discipline (GBD) is a parenting style which is Biblically supported and rooted in the New Testament teachings of Grace. In my book, “Biblical Parenting,” I fully believe that the popular parenting teachings of today are not based on a proper understanding of how God would have us be in relationship with our children. God is about relationships-attaching and not detaching, connecting and not disconnecting.
Too often parents are taught that their discipline choices can even guarantee the salvation of their children. This is not only not our job, it’s God’s job alone. Our job as parents is to prepare the hearts of our children to be good ground for the seed of the Gospel which is our privilege to plant, not to produce perfectly behaved Stepford children.
Spoil the Child
In this section of the site I want to address the dangers and issues of permissiveness. Unfortunately, most people in America are under the impression that you have a choice between being punitive and being permissive. Those who don’t want to be permissive embrace a punitive style of parenting, and those who don’t want to be punitive typically embrace permissiveness
The reasons vary but some of the most popular reasons include having been parented with punishments and not wanting the same for their own children (which very much challenges the idea that children want to be punished), not being willing to spank and not knowing what else to do, not being comfortable with their child being unhappy and doing everything they can to keep them happy, and having been raised permissively themselves and not knowing what else to do.
Spare the Rod
The reason this section of my site is called “Spare the Rod” is because this verse, and a handful of verses that mention the Rod, have been touted as teaching the modern day practice of spanking. In fact, I often get emails from people who have visited my site and want to ask me why I don’t know that the Bible teaches parents to spare the rod and spoil the child. That isn’t Scripture-it’s a poem by Samuel Butler called “Hudibras” and, in fact, he is talking in the poem about the topic that provides the background for the modern day practice of spankings-corporal punishment between adults in the bedroom.* I can hear the shock now and before you write me off as a loon, please hear me out.
Proverbs does speak of the rod but what is this? Well, in the Hebrew there are three main words that are translated into English as “rod” and the one used in Proverbs is “Shebet”. The Shebet was the large walking staff held by the head of a family, the shepherd’s crook, or the king’s scepter. Considering Proverbs was written by King Solomon, it makes sense to assume that of all the meanings we are reading a reference to the one held by a King. As we see in the book of Esther, it is when the Shebet is extended to someone that they find life, but when it is spared, or set aside, it brings death. Make no mistake, the shebet is a very real implement, but the question is, “What does it mean when King Solomon speaks of the shebet?” Let’s examine the verses.
